“Dear Necati, thank you for the invitation to write about ‘unlearning’ for Theatertreffen’s magazine, and yes, it sounds very interesting and I will be happy to do it. Would you maybe like to send me some examples of essays from the last few years, so I’d get the context? Honoured! Sivan”

I realise the absurdity of my message right after typing it. I am being invited to meditate on the topic of “unlearning” and my first response is to check on the dress code?! This fear of appearing naked to a well-dressed event. And at Theatertreffen it’s not only about the dresses and the ties—this is the red, red carpet of the German theatre, “the internationally most renowned industry festival … [during which] the ten most remarkable productions of the season are selected annually by an independent jury”. Not the first place where one wants her unremarkable cellulite and bare skin too exposed.

Looking at the words of my unsent message, I note the silent undercurrent of the immigrant’s fear of being unknowingly “out of tune” or “out of context”. It is always part of the picture, too. Just four years ago, I got directions to an event, and googled...